Isn’t it odd how someone can hurt us, over and over again, and yet for some mysterious reason we still want to forgive them? They break your heart and ruin any chance of you trusting them again, but yet you still feel some small amount of compassion for them. You want so badly to believe that they’re still a good person and that they had good reasons for doing what they did to you, but you know deep down that that’s not true. They don’t care about you and they don’t care that they hurt you. This is the hardest truth to face, in my opinion. You can love someone so much but they can just leave, or stab you in the back, or be unfaithful, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The worst is when your bond together ends, and it isn’t by your choice, it’s by theirs. That is such a hard pain to fight through because you didn’t want it to be over, but you have no choice except to live with the situation they put you in.
Maybe one day in the future, they’ll come back to you and “realize their mistake” and try to apologize and fix things between the two of you… but you know that it would be stupid of you to forgive them. They haven’t really changed and they don’t plan to, they just need you for something, whatever that shallow reason may be. So maybe you decide to forgive them regardless of your better judgment, or maybe you don’t. But the fact is that they will just hurt you again. Whether you choose to acknowledge that or not, deep down you know they will.
Sometimes loving someone can be like drinking poison. You try it once not knowing what the outcome will be and even though you get the worst flu of your life and manage to survive, it was the best tasting thing you’ve ever tried. Forgiving someone that hurt you is like choosing to drink the poison again knowing what it put you through the first time just because it tasted incredible. So why do we do this to ourselves?