Real Friends Can Take Constructive Criticism

I am getting real damn tired of trying to tell my friends (or in some cases, people who I USED to think were my friends) the honest but harsh truth and ending up with them hating me because they aren’t mature enough to handle it! If we are friends, I should be able to tell you my honest opinion without it meaning that I am making a judgment on your character. I don’t say it because I want to hurt your feelings and I’m not saying you’re a terrible person; I’m simply commenting on a specific behaviour which doesn’t reflect who you are as a person. I don’t expect you to agree with me nor do I expect you to take my advice at all, I just feel that if we are really friends and we have respect for each other you should be able to listen to what I have to say without it ending in a loss of friendship or hurt feelings. I would expect the same of my friends if I was doing something stupid; I would want them to tell me and I wouldn’t want it to be sugarcoated! There is such a thing called “constructive criticism” which is only a suggestion for improvement or a suggestion for how things could be done better. I have dealt with this kind of criticism my entire life from parents and coaches, so I understand how beneficial it can be. When my coach tells me that I fucked up, it’s not because they hate me or think I’m a terrible person, I just made a mistake that can be corrected for my own benefit. Sure, maybe I’m not happy about what they said particularly and I might be upset about it, but I’m not going to hate them because they tried to help me. In fact, I respect them for telling me what I needed to hear! And if you are so easily willing to cut me off as a friend because I told you the truth in an effort to help you, then were we really ever friends at all?


So please, tell me when I fuck up, tell me when I’m being stupid, and tell me when I’m being lazy and I need to get my shit together because I would appreciate that! Sometimes it becomes very easy to make excuses and rationalize for the way we are behaving and sometimes we need an outside opinion to tell us the truth so that we can realize what we’re doing wrong. I understand that, and I hope that my close friends would understand that too. So when I tell you you’re being stupid, I don’t think that you as a person is stupid, I think that you made a stupid choice and you can do better for yourself. It comes from a place of love, NOT hate!


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